Fate vs. Choice; This was one of the first lesson points in my British Literature class. That question of choices leading the way of how life turns out or fate as an invisible force directing our life without our clear knowledge or understanding. It is an intriguing philosophical discussion that I very much enjoyed having with high school seniors. That philosophical battle seems to have been the playing out in my life over the last few months.
So for those of you who have been following my adventure, you already know that the plan has been changed, maybe a dozen times in the last six months. Often in life we think we know how things are going to go and work out; only to find that life suddenly moves sideways on us. You prepare as best you can but at some point you have to simply let go and enjoy the ride. That is what has happened with me.
After returning from Japan, I found out that my mother was having some health issues. They were serious but not dire so it seemed like being in a far off destination was not a good idea, but I could still go to KC or Wichita. As time passed and I looked for apartments and jobs I was not terribly worried about things working out. Frustration in the pace of the process was there, but worry was not. However, during that time I have been around for my mother and father as that process got more frustrating and complicated. Suddenly I realized that there may have been another reason that teaching overseas did not become reality, moving to Portland did not become a reality, even moving to KC or Wichita was not becoming a reality; maybe I needed to be right where I was.
Then I was offered a job here in Emporia that would allow me to be with my mom through her recovery process; be here to support both of my parents with whatever they might need; and still have an income to allow me to meet my responsibilities and obligations. It was the invisible plan that was occurring all along, but I could not see. This is exactly where I need to be right now and I know that with 100% certainty. Being in a position where my plans were flexible gives me the ability to be here for my family whom I love dearly. So for the time being, the plan has come together; not in the way I had thought, hoped, or imagined; but come together it has.