The Dress Code Affair
Every fall when students return to school there is a brief
period where they must learn the rules for the new school year. Often these rules are spelled out in a
handbook that is given to students on the first day and then the highlights are
glossed over by the teachers that are trying to get through the first day
rituals and requirements. All of these
handbooks typically have a dress code policy.
Yet, every spring, as the weather begins to warm, the trending stories
on social media and “news” websites focuses on horrible dress code violation
stories. As a former high school teacher
who often enforced the dress code, much to the dismay of my students and some
parents; and as a Speech and Communications teacher I feel like the internet is
letting this debate get out of control and way off point.
So, let me break this down for students, parents, teachers
and administrators to hopefully help mitigate future issues that are wholly unnecessary.
Section 1: The Written Policy
If the school has a written dress code policy that is given to parents
and students at the start of the year, this is the rule that is expected to be
followed; Period.
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The faculty and staff of the institution are
responsible for enforcing this rule, and yes there is the reality that not
everyone will be caught. Just like when
we speed as we are driving, we may not all get caught but when we do- still
have to face the consequences.
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If someone chooses to make the conscious choice
to violate this rule; because yes, when you put on that inappropriate t-shirt,
or outfit that doesn’t fit the dress code you know it; then one must accept
the consequences of that choice. If you make decisions in life to violate a
rule, then you must accept that there are possible consequences of breaking that
rule. This is true in all areas of life.
Section 2: The Process of the Consequence
When authoritative figures are enforcing a rule it is important to
consider how comments are phrased, but they are humans and sometimes misspeak.
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When an authoritative figure is enforcing any
rule violation they need to carefully phrase comments and explanations. Often times, policies have been in place long
before the people enforcing them have begun working there. It is important to
know “why” the rule exists.
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In the course of explaining discipline decisions,
the focus should be the following:
o
The Policy or rule as it is written- did the
violator know about this rule
o
That this policy/rule was not met and these
are the consequences.
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That is it.
No explanation or reasoning is needed beyond this. Most of the stories that appear become huge
media circuses because of comments that went beyond these two simple things and
waded into the “why” which was clearly not understood. So, continue reading if
you also don’t know why.
Section 3: Why dress codes exist
Dress codes exist for a variety of reasons, mostly having to do with
health, safety, and equality. Additionally, they exists in schools to also
prepare you for expectations found in workplaces.
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Much to the dismay of many, there are real
reason to have dress codes that do not have to do with body shaming or rampant
teenage hormones.
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Health and Safety: Clothing is a barrier to the
elements we encounter in this world. We
adjust our clothing to protect our bodies.
Although the focus may be on fashion during our youthful years,
eventually it is soon learned that staying healthy may trump “looking cute”. Many schools have heating/cooling systems
that are unpredictable and clothing is the front line of dealing with those
vast temperature changes. Certain classes may require students to work with machinery
that requires protective clothing minimums.
As for the bare legs issue- often wood seats become cracked and
splintered; plastic chairs often have loose screws and cracks as well. The
length of pants, shorts, dresses, skirts is designed to make sure that your
body is protected from these factors.
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Equality: Good rules and policies are designed
to allow an equality in their enforcement.
Now, the reality is that dress codes are always going to have some
gender disparity simply because they are different. However, if a boy were to wear a dress to
school, they would be expected to follow the same rules as girls.
o
“The Finger Tip Rule”: here
is the big secret that shockingly many who must enforce dress codes do not
know. The fingertip rule exists because it is an equal measurement across the
board! No matter what height, build or
body type you are, there will be approximately 6” of space between you
fingertip and knee cap when you stand in a natural body position with hands at
your sides. Don’t believe me- test it.
Grab your friends, break out a ruler and see for yourself.
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Workplace:
Often we forget that school is, in essence, a training ground for your
future professional lives. From the age
of 5 till 18 (traditionally) school is your job. You are learning lessons that are not found
in books like attendance, showing up on time, communicating with peers and
superiors appropriately, and how to meet expectations. These lessons are just as important as the
material you are expected to learn.
Although social expectations change, there will still always be
workplace specific expectations. You
will be expected to dress in a manner that is appropriate for the specific
workplace setting of the profession you enter.
In school a violation is met with minor consequences compared to
violations in a workplace which may be met with being fired and losing your
income.
Section 4: It shouldn’t matter what I wear
Regardless of what we want to believe, or want the world to be like;
the truth is we all know that what we wear communicates to others and does
matter.
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In a perfect world, it wouldn’t matter what we
wear- but then we would all most likely wear the exact same thing with no
variation, because it wouldn’t matter.
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The truth is we all know that it matters- every
single one of us. If it didn’t then we
wouldn’t spend time thinking about the “perfect” outfit for the first day of
school/ work. Brides wouldn’t spend hours searching for a wedding dress.
T-shirts would never be made or bought that shout what we like, what groups we
belong to, or where we went on vacation.
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Even when someone says “I don’t care what I wear”
they actually do, because they are trying to communicate that they do not care
about what is fashionable, trendy, or cool which is also a message.
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What we wear communicates a lot of things to the
world around us but at the very minimum it communicates these three distinctive
things.
o
Our interest, preferences, hobbies, and inclinations
o
How we feel about others, the occasion/ event,
or the situation we are in
o
How we feel about ourselves
So there it is. The things I wish everyone knew about dress
codes, and so I am putting it out there into the world. I hope that if you are a student, a parent or
in education you now understand how to navigate this tricky realm without
putting down, body shaming, or missing the point of the rule. When I was a teacher, I too misspoke and
ended up hurting a student’s feelings which I never intended to do. However, it does become frustrating when you
are portrayed as the “bad guy” for doing your job. No one wants to be a bad guy, but good
teachers know that rules have to be enforced or there is no point to having the
rule at all, which is a slippery slope.
Additionally, if you come across one of these hyped up media
stories about dress code horrors- remember the two following things:
1.) If
the students violated a written policy that they were aware of; that was their
choice and they must face the consequences of that choice.
2.) If
the authoritative figure made some kind of inappropriate commentary in the
course of enforcing the policy, then that is not good- but it is an entirely separate
issue that does not detract from the original violation.
While these things are connected, neither cancels or supersedes
the other. The second one should be
dealt with by the authoritative figures above them (their bosses) and ideally
that would involve some conflict communication and phrasing education.
Just my two cents, feel free to disagree because that is the
spice of life.
